The last time I got into a car accident, well, the time before last now, I was so devastated when the insurance companies and the CHP report blamed me. It was unjust then, and I have an overwhelming feeling that somehow the same thing is going to happen this time. I feel it coming.
I got a call from the insurance company tonight. They wanted to tell me I wasn’t supposed to leave my car in the repair shop and get an insurance-paid-for rental until the shop was ready to work on the car, had all the parts, was actually repairing it. Somehow that was lost in translation. I guess I was supposed to take the estimate to the shop and they would order the parts from that. Then, when they had them all, I was supposed to take the car in. That got a little muddled and I guess I jumped the gun.
It’s not like I wasn’t already confused, and passed around from one person to the next, and then ending up with a totally independent claims adjuster who told me they wouldn’t know if they needed other things til they had the bumper off in the shop.
Oh well, I am supposed to call the shop and urge them to get it done so that I can take the car back. I just know that on top of all this, they are going to find me at fault for getting hit in the rear on the freeway.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry. When things go wrong, I start to take it personally. I feel like all those thoughts of my inadequacies are indeed justified after all.
I could have done without this!
September 20, 2008 at 5:52 pm |
i know it’s hard mom but you were definitely not at fault, either time really. remember to take it one day at a time. this will pass and down the road, once it’s done with, it will be less scary to think about, just like the last time. love you.
September 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm |
IA with S. It’s not your fault. It’s absolutely, completely not your fault. And it wasn’t your fault the last time, either. That call was complete bullshit and unfortunately it seems like we live in a world where we get punished for other people’s bullshit calls.and being punished like that can really make you start freaking out every time anything goes wrong, convinced that you’ve made a horrible mistake because even if you haven’t, you’ll likely get in trouble for it anyway.
But it’s not your fault. That DOES matter.
Re: your “I want to curl up in a ball/I tend to take it personally/thoughts of my inadequacies” bit: I read that and thought “SO THAT’S WHERE I GET THAT FROM.”
You and me, both.
I love you.